Pastors Spiritual Concubines: Whoremongers and Whores
Concubines in the Black Church is a topic that I have struggled to highlight, in fact, I struggled with reposting this article, mainly because I did not want to offend women who are often caught in this web of deceit and manipulation, however, If I say that I am going to keep it real, than often I have to go down that street. Pastors practice of Spiritual Concubines is real and swept under the rug in in the life of the Black Church. So here it is, I am sure you will let me know your thoughts by leaving comments below.
By: A Black man from New Orleans
It is only fitting that if we as the Body of Christ aggressively address the issues concerning the “Whoremongers” within our pulpits that we also deal with the issue of the “Whores Amongst Us.” aka Pastor’s Spirtual Concubines.
“Once she has positioned herself in direct view of his roaming eyes, Ms. Pretty can now execute the second phase of her strategy which I will now refer to as the “Spiritual Acquaintance.”
A spiritual acquaintance is someone who feels that they have some sort of mutual spiritual connection with the Pastor that separates them from the rest of the members. This elitist mindset succumbs to delusions of grandeur at the exact moment he confides in her about confidential information regarding church affairs. His confidence becomes her ticket out of the pews of ordinary membership into the realm of his exclusive counsel. Consequently, he now shares intricate details with her alone, details not shared with anyone else within the congregation.
This spiritual acquaintance is often appointed to Chair certain Boards or Committees because she knows the heart and the intentions of the Pastor. This spiritual acquaintance is often delegated to handle tasks normally reserved for the Pastor’s Wife or the Assistant Pastor, but she is preferred by him because of her special skill set. This particular woman speaks to him through her eye contact, voice tone, accessibility, and body motion which leads to the next phase in their relationship; Spiritual Sex.
Spiritual sex is a gradual build up often starting with long conversations and Facebook chats. During this phase she makes him aware that if he would like to have her, then she is willing and ready. These conversations leave no doubt of her intentions to conquer his will power, to mute that voice in his head that says “I’m married, and she is a member of my congregation.”
In typical fashion he eventually meets with her for lunch, which leads to a long drive to a discreet hotel reserved with a fake name. He has now allowed himself to not only violate the sanctity of his marriage, diluted the virtuosity of his leadership, but has now committed 3 sins in this one act.
A concubine has been described as generally a woman in an ongoing, marriage-like relationship with a man, whom she cannot marry for a specific reason. The reason may be because she is of lower social rank than the man (including slave status) or because the man is already married. Generally, only men of high economic and social status have concubines. Many historical rulers maintained concubines as well as wives.Webster defines a Concubine as:
Definition of CONCUBINE : a woman with whom a man cohabits without being married: as a :
One having a recognized social status in a household below that of a wife – : MISTRESS.
What many people fail to realize about Pastor Sex Scandals is more often than not they’re never forced relationships. Sex between a pastor and fellow members takes on a different dimension than a work place relationship in which the woman feels that she must have sex in order to continue her career path. The sex between a pastor and his spiritual acquaintance is mutual, calculating, and sustainable for a long period of time due to her compliant demeanor.
As willing as she is to acquire a special portion of him, he is also equally willing to enjoy her discreetness. In many cases she sits directly behind his wife in the congregation so that he can look in her direction while preaching without drawing attention to his real focus. She waits for him, she anticipate his needs, wants, and desires while he grooms her in how to please him far beyond the gifts of his wife.
He remains guilty as charged and she remains an accessory to sin in a relationship that will continue until one of them slips up. Now the congregation has all of the ingredients needed for a Gumbo of Church Scandal.
Add 2 Cups of Sin
Typically the spiritual concubine controls the release of the scandal, but the pastor has such a false sense of security that he is totally oblivious. Just like a White House staffer, she will plant little verses of their relationship the moment she feels him trying to pull away in any form or fashion. In the true meaning of “easier to get into but harder to get out” she is not ready or willing to go back to being just an ordinary member of the congregation.
The real power she has over him during this saga is even greater than the power his wife received during their nuptials, his reputation and as true man of God is now in her hands to caress or to crush. This is when she places a higher demand on his time and this period also marks the point in his marriage where the lying begins. It is at this moment when she will no longer mandate that he wear a condom, thus allowing the enviable to happen, the baby!
As members of a congregation, we only hear about a sex scandal involving our Pastor once there is a child involved, but just like any trimester, the origins took place much earlier. The baby conceived out of a scandalous affair is the irrefutable evidence, the elephant sitting on the second pew that everyone whispers about. The child of the spiritual concubine is treated just like the slave child of a King, only partially acknowledged.
Controlling The Hound
Being a leader is often a very lonely position despite the large amount of people surrounding you. This is the reason that if you are the Pastor of a church, your relationship and friendship with your wife has to be more than just an academy award winning performance. Pastors repeatedly fall for the same traps and holes to the point where it has become very difficult to even feel sorry for them when it all comes crashing down. Somewhere in-between all of the hand claps of praise and the power of getting an entire room of people to “turn to their neighbor” the Pastor started to feel as if he could have anything he wanted without consequence.